Tips on Getting Dad to Help Around the House (cont'd)

• Go on strike. Set limits on what you are willing to do and where you draw the line. Let your partner know you expect him to do his share and if he doesn’t, well, then frankly, it won’t get done. He may get the point when his side of the bed is a toxic hazard or he runs out of clean
underwear. The hardest part for you is turning a blind eye to the mess for a while until he realizes that you mean business.

• Insincerity isn’t always a bad thing. Men like to feel competent. Try throwing in a few complements even when you know you could have done a better job. Try to brag on him to a friend while he is in earshot. The more he feels appreciated, the more he’ll be willing to do. Who knows, you may even find a true talent.

• Don’t be the Keeper of the house. Many women like to control the house, as this is one area they feel the most competent. Give your partners room to help. Women have been preparing for this roll for their whole lives, while men are relatively still new at taking more active rolls in the home. Let your partner figure out some stuff out for himself. Men need to find their own approaches through practice and trial and error. Letting him develop his own style of doing things around the house will make feel more adequate and more able to do things on his own.

• Share responsibilities. Make a list of what needs to be done and decide together who would be most qualified for those certain jobs. Negotiate between the jobs. Switch them out every now and then so you don’t both get board with one certain job in particular.

• Define “work”. Many couples don’t think of child rearing as an ordinary chore, yet it takes up just as much time and energy. Don’t assume that the partner taking care of the baby has the easiest job, as we all know that isn’t always the case. If you cook dinner one night while he keeps the kids content, switch rolls the next night. We all know that even in these days of mother/father equality there is no miraculous way to make your partner superman. Much of the burden has always, and probably will always fall on old trusty Mom. But it doesn’t always have to be all the burden, all the time. Take a reality check.. Realize that these changes may take a while. Given time I’m sure you’ll start to see some improvement in all aspects off your household, as parents and partners.

This article was written with information from an article written by parenting expert Armin Brott, author of The Expectant Father.